“Having similar values and goals helps couples find clarity about creating a life together,” he adds. It’s also one of those things that really matter in the long run, Klow says. “You have to have the same values and goals-that’s paramount,” Goldsmith says. You may come from different backgrounds or have different tastes, but being on the same page about what really matters in life is crucial. Feeling heard and understood also helps the relationship work well, Klow says. ![]() “When somebody gets you, that’s a really good, affirming feeling,” Goldsmith says. But when you feel like someone really understands what makes you tick, it’s kind of life altering. ![]() Sure, you can date plenty of people and have a good time with them. “Feeling emotionally connected is an essential part of a healthy relationship,” Klow says. That’s pretty powerful stuff, and it can help you out in the long run when it comes to dealing with some of the tougher issues in life. They call it couples intuition: You can read your partner without them even saying a word. Being able to kick back around each other is a solid sign that your relationship is healthy, Klow says. “The difference when you are with someone who adds comfort to your life and being with someone who doesn’t make you feel comfortable is pretty much the difference between breathing and drowning.” It doesn’t just feel good. “This is one of the most important things,” Goldsmith says. Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play But if it feels like you’re both on the same page, commitment-wise, and you’re a good fit in other areas, it’s a good match, Klow says.Ĭheck out this woman's inspiring story on finding love again after tragically losing her husband: If you happen to meet someone amazing when you’re still hurting from a breakup or just aren’t ready to settle down at a certain time in your life, it’s clearly not going to work. Some of them are instincts.” Goldsmith cautions against solely relying on your gut when choosing the right person for you, but he says you should still trust that you know deep down if someone is a good match for you. ![]() “There are many factors to finding an ideal partner. “Knowing that you've found the right person is not always clear,” says licensed family therapist David Klow, owner of Skylight Counseling Center in Chicago and author of You Are Not Crazy: Letters from Your Therapist. You know deep down that they’re right for you Here are the biggest signs that you’ve found the perfect partner for you. That said, there's definitely a right person for you out there. Subscribing to the soulmate concept is devastating because if you split up or something happens to your so-called soulmate, it can keep you from seeing other people who are a perfect fit for you but may not check all of your boxes, Goldsmith says. Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist Joseph Cilona, PsyD, agrees, calling the concept “toxic.” But there’s no one exact right person for you for the rest of your life,” he explains. ![]() “The reality is, there are probably 10 or 20 people on the planet that would work for you, maybe more. “The concept of finding your soulmate has ruined some marriages,” says psychologist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of The Happy Couple. 7 Simple Ways To Divorce-Proof Your Relationship.11 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic.
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